It’s easy to find advice on how to propose, especially considering most proposals follow a simple formula. You’re supposed to buy a beautiful diamond engagement ring, find a scenic location, get down on one knee, and ask some variation of the question, “will you marry me?”
But when is the best time to propose?
Figuring out when and where to pop the question is an important variable that’s often neglected. How can you make this event memorable and maximize the chances of your partner saying yes?
Relationship Stages
First, let’s talk about timing as it relates to your relationship. Unfortunately, there’s no specific timeline for when you should propose; while some people wait for a specific milestone, like dating for two years, it’s perfectly acceptable to propose to someone after just a few weeks of knowing them, and it’s perfectly acceptable to propose to someone after a decade of being together or longer.
Still, there are some signs that you’ve been together the “right” amount of time for a proposal.
- You’ve lived together for a while. If you’re going to live with this person for the rest of your life, you should know what living with them is like. If you and your partner have lived together for at least several months, and you’re both happy with the arrangement, it’s a positive sign you should move forward.
- You know your long-term values are aligned. You should also make sure all your long-term values are aligned. Are you both interested in having children? Are you both prioritizing early retirement? Do you both have the same vision for your shared future? If not, proposing now may not be the best idea.
- You get along with family. When you marry someone, you’re also marrying their family. It’s a good idea to hold off on proposing until you’ve each gotten to know each other’s family and are comfortable with them.
- You’ve talked about marriage. You may want your proposal to remain a surprise, but it’s usually a good idea to talk about the possibility of marriage before you follow through. Not everyone is interested in getting married.
Buying the Engagement Ring
There are countless engagement ring options available to you, from oval engagement rings to square cuts and everything in between. It’s a good idea to shop around before you settle on a proposal date. This way, you can at least get an idea of what type of ring you want to buy – and if you’re particularly taken with a specific ring, you can buy it and save it for whenever you plan to propose in the future.
Seasons of the Year
What about seasons of the year?
Each season can bring something unique to your engagement, especially if you plan on proposing outside.
- Spring. Spring symbolizes new life and new starts. With beautiful flowers blooming and just enough warmth to enjoy the outdoors, it could be the perfect kickoff for your marriage.
- Summer. If you and your partner are both outdoorsy types and you definitely want an outdoor proposal, summer gives you the best chances for beautiful weather.
- Fall. In fall, you’ll enjoy some of the most beautiful scenery – and the perfect weather for a light jacket and a warm drink.
- Winter. While snowstorms could be a problem in cold climates, winter is advantageous for its cozy nature. Plus, winter is full of different holidays you could use as the basis of your proposal.
Specific Dates
Now let’s talk about specific dates you could choose for your proposal.
- A holiday. Some people like to propose on holidays. There are pros and cons to this, since you cement the proposal in both your memories forever, but you may also distract from traditional holiday activities. Christmas Eve is the most popular holiday for proposals, with 32 percent of holiday proposers proposing then. Another 30 percent of holiday proposers propose on Valentine’s Day. There are no right or wrong answers; it all depends on how you and your partner feel about the holiday.
- An anniversary. Many people choose to propose on an anniversary, such as the anniversary of your first date or the anniversary of your relationship officially beginning.
- A special trip. You may also want to wait to propose until you take a special trip together; proposing in the middle of a memorable vacation could be the perfect move.
Times of Day
As you can imagine, there are pros and cons associated with any time of day you choose to propose.
- Sunrise. You’ll have to get up early to make it work, but a scenic sunrise could be the perfect backdrop for your proposal.
- The afternoon. If you and your partner aren’t morning people, but you like the idea of proposing in daylight, wait until the afternoon.
- Sunset. If you’re going to propose somewhere scenic or majestic, it might benefit you to wait until sunset.
- Late at night. It’s also possible to propose later at night. While there won’t be as much natural light to frame your proposal, you and your partner might appreciate the absolute stillness and silence of nighttime.
There are advantages and disadvantages to almost any kind of proposal timing, so you don’t need to worry about there being an objectively right or wrong answer. Instead, consider your options carefully and choose the best time and day for your specific partner and your specific relationship.
